Saturday, September 18, 2010


Somewhere in a city

Dear Ernie,
You are our best hope. Rumour has it that you have been successful in applying for asylum in a lovely country area by the sea, where a cow could be happy to graze.

We have been living with a heifer in a busy part of a big city and its really not working out.. First thing she did was put us in the washing machine without even checking if either of us had a voice! When we came out – dizzy and wet she stuck us in a dark cupboard to dry out (we hadn’t touched a drop – honest)

When we were let back out of the warm clothes shed, it should have been no surprise to learn that one of us (too embarrassing to say who) had developed a case of OCMD – obsessive, compulsive mooing disorder. Well you can imagine how that has gone down in a posh part of town.

We feel that we have no choice but to run and throw ourselves on the mercy of the truly compassionate people who took you in. They must be wonderful if you have been able to set up home with them as you didn’t have the best reputation in the pound.

We have taken the precaution of bringing a packet of Jersey Cream biscuits as a goodwill gesture and a treat for you and your friend Finch. C’mon we were good friends in the old days, help us out, please. We’d love to moo-ve in
Yours truly,
Hank and Marilynn Mary Moo

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